Uh

It's been almost one year. I'm dreading that day and so exited all at once. Lou will be finding out if she's having a boy or a girl. I'm so excited for her and so glad there will be a little bit of happiness to the day. I can't wait for that. I'm going to be making her a gender cake to reveal to her co-workers what she's having. It will have pink or blue frosting in the middle. I'm guessing boy just because everyone thinks girl based on old wives tales. I have to go against the grain. That's just how I am. I'm usually wrong, buy hey.

On a more sad note, it will be 1 year since we lost G. So hard to believe it's been a year, yet it seems like a lifetime that I've seen his smiley face. I still see him in my dreams being his goofy self regularly. In my dreams I know he's gone, but I can still spend time with him. I only have an hour in most of my dreams until he slips away again. It's a weird feeling knowing you only have an hour. Even more weird that it's like that in all of my dreams. But the good part is he has all of his humor and now that no one talks about it, it's nice to still see. I wish we could talk about it forever, but everyone grieves in their own way. Mine is to re-live it. I never want it to fade, because there's no way anyone could be that funny here on earth. I need that hilarity in my life.

Enough of my ramblings. Off to bed.